Killing Me Softly

Bangalore, India's silicone valley has a new mission - kill stray dogs...all of them...healthy, unhealthy, friendly, unfriendly, male, female, tiny puppies....especially the tiny puppeis - they are the worst!

Bangalore is killing them softly...in a cold, calculated manner, without attaching any ugly emotions to it...thus spake the municipal commissioner.

Bangalore is killing them by strangulation, by pulling apart their limbs, necks and torsos - while they are still alive.

Bangalore is killing them because it doesn't know what else to do with them.

DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM?

India's think tank (of sorts, if you want to call sorry little programmers that) is clueless about what to do with their best friend??? They are the problem solvers - good enough to have 'Bangalored' a large (rather angry) chunk of the U.S. Of A. and it is stymied by stray dog population???

How about some good ol' 'adoption'? or simply neutering them? or getting every colony to take care of its resident strays? How about another solution from India's brightest brains sitting in their plush offices and swank homes?

It's not just Banaglore...it is all of us, everywhere.

We domesticated the wolf, inbred it, gene altered it, changed its behaviour to become a helping hand for us. We played God. Then God and nature took over and empowered the dogs to start breeding at will - as any other species is going to do - dogs went forth and multiplied.

Now we were troubled!!! We wanted only so many and no more!! So what did we do? We left them to fend for themselves, often at 'unauthorized meat shop' throw outs....we sometimes made friends with them and fed them a couple of chapatis but mostly we hated them. We hated them for having slipped out of our control. We hated them because they made us feel less like Gods. We hated them because they made us feel inadequate for not knowing how to deal with them.

So what did we do next? We started considering them a threat to us and began to kill them (Bangalore, the ever 'softy' calls it Euthanasia - take a look at your local pound and you'll know what their brand of Euthanasia is)

Well, in all, it actually seems like the perfect solution.

You domesticate them, take them out of their natural environment, transplant them into a new one and then take that away too. Then when you can't manage them, you kill them - softly - like bangalore is doing it. Remember, this is for the larger good.

Now, there is a thought racing through my mind....

India's population is bursting at the seams. We don't have enough food to feed every mouth, we don't have enough clothes to keep them all covered, we don't have enough houses to keep them safe from the elements. That is a huge 'stray' population bouncing off the walls in India. They could become a menace - some already are! Talk about dogs killing children, sad as that is....we have humans (eow) not far behind - Nithari's Koli, Pandher & Co. are case in point.

So how about killing a few stray people too? Let's round them up, beat them silly or pelt stones at them, better still let's kick them in their hungry stomachs so that they start bleeding at the mouth. We are still at 'softly' on the 'murder continuum'. Let's pack them up a couple of hundred in one small van - maybe some of them would die just out of suffocation and heat. But let's not forget that we oughta be soft about this. We are solving a problem here - no ugly emotions, please.This is 'Euthanasia', not murder.

There!!! I have the solution to India's population problem!!! Let's kill them all .....softly.